Merle's Blog

Insights and Outsights

Disconnect and Reconnect

Posted by Merle Levin on January 12, 2010

I love walking on the Sea Point promenade at sunset.  There are throngs of people who jog, walk their doggies, push their babies, stride beside their elderlies.  You see a range of toned derrieres flying past you at a rate or flopping beside you at a snail’s pace.  “how old is your girl?” I asked a larger rath woman, bordering on obese, pushing an equally rather large child in a pram”  “Five” she replied.  “The best gift you could give her is to let her walk” I said, I could not help myself.  I know it was not my place to interfere, but you see, I have been thinking a lot about this issue of weight – in general, and dare I say, in particular.

Dr. Clotaire Rapaille, who I have quoted before, is concerned with the codes in our reptilian brains that drive us to do what we do, to buy what we buy and say what we do not mean.  He says the code for being fat (his honesty is rather refreshingly brutal) is disconnect. Dare I admit this is giving me a thing or two to think about.? I notice that there are many ways in which this plays out in my life.  It feels so good to name this beast.  Leonardo da Vinci said:  Most people eat without tasting, look without seeing, listen without hearing. What is it that causes this disconnect?

The first thing for me is to recognize when it is happening, then to watch how I allow this to play out.  It is an excellent way of self-monitoring, and I do this throughout my day.  Deciding to cut out food that does not serve me is an excellent way to hold me to be vigilant.  Each time I crave something creamy or nibbly or crunchy…I ask myself:  “Is this disconnect?”  What is the hunger really for?  It doesn’t stop there though…I have begun to notice what happens when I hit a wall: suddenly my energy drops and I do not want to push through what is coming up for me.  Could be a moment in my writing process where I have to face honesty in a raw way.  Suddenly I have an energy drop, I stand up and walk to the kitchen to make a cup of tea…what was that about?  Is it a moment of disconnect? If I understand it, will it make it easier the next wall I hit?

Does being honest make things easier to face?  Not at all.  If anything, it makes it more difficult, more uncomfortable – the fire burns more fiercely.  As the teacher said ( forget who)…”We do not do our spiritual work to the sound of gongs and recorded whale sounds: we do it in our most uncomfortable moments.”  My mandate for today is to “reconnect” and to take note of the moments that fly by in the fresh of this new day to exercise this right, this birthright to let go of the things that drag me down by facing them, with understanding yes, but also with the power of the sword.  Not to turn aside into auto react, but to stay conscious: to breathe, to face, to note and to stick to my day like Velcro – awake and alive.  Want to join me in the  reconnect?

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